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JFT Beach πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ 🏊 πŸ§˜β€β™‚οΈ's avatar

This is a well written and personal account of mental health interspersed with the great Robin Williams, I enjoyed this. Thanks for writing Preston.

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Preston's avatar

Thank you for the kind words, and thank you for reading!

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Elizabeth | Space Breathwork's avatar

He was such an admirable person and a reminder that we never know what’s going on inside of someone. Outward appearances can be deceiving.

I commend you on working through your own challenges and struggles and not giving up. It is a difficult road to walk, and perhaps the answer is found in that experience of the person you described becoming while helping others. I’ve had to learn how to take care of myself as much as I take care and show up for others. Baby steps.

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Preston's avatar

Baby steps indeed, and thank you for reading! Just being who I am and the person Robin was are the reasons why I always make sure someone feels completely comfortable with me. You never know how you’re going to help someone, especially if you allow them to completely open up. I know my baby steps will be much bigger with changes I continue to make, including this year. I just need to get over a couple big hurdles. But! I am not allowing them to be roadblocks like I have in the past.

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Niki Elle's avatar

Yo. This was really good. Thanks so much for your vulnerable share. I can relate to some of what you've said, as I've been through the ringer with depression myself. It suuuuucks. My partner struggled with alcohol abuse, and as a result, we've both gone sober. I know it's hard for him.

I love how you tie things together with your observation that the happiest people hide a lot of turmoil....and how helping people can, in a way, help yourself. Proud of you, friend. You've got this.

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Preston's avatar

Thank you so much for not only sharing your own struggles, but being able to understand mine! I have never been good with absolutes of ultimatums, but as of right now I don’t drink. I don’t know where I’ll be 5-10 years from now, but I know right now it’s not a good idea for me, nor am I in a place where it could be a *part* of an activity rather than the activity itself. I think that mindset is absolutely key.

As for helping people, yes I do agree. I know I feel much better when I help others. If I could spend my whole life volunteering or doing some sort of work where that was happening, I totally would. I just have to keep reminding myself that β€œhey, gotta take care of you too” ya know?

Thank you for reading!

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Niki Elle's avatar

I can totally relate to what you wrote about drinking, and not making it an absolute. (Sometimes that works for folks, other times, it backfires hard) and you have a very similar thought process to my partner in that it's hard to make drinking part of an activity rather than THE WHOLE activity. Such a hard question of balance for sure. Good on you for knowing your own limits.

Volunteering is definitely great!! Even if you can't do it all the time / full time, it's nice to do it like...once a week! Boosts the ole self esteem πŸ˜…πŸ€£

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Preston's avatar

I think once I have a better understanding of who I am and remove myself from some negative influencers, I’ll have an actual idea of what I’ll need to do moving forward. Right now, things are just too toxic to get an actual read. Trying to force me to do anything always backfires spectacularly, and so I know this for myself. I can’t make others understand it, so I guess I’ll have to lead by example.

I do love volunteering. The example I wrote about a month ago or so was actually spontaneous. You should read it! I wasn’t really voluntold so to speak, but this girl was so incredibly comfortable with me I really couldn’t bring myself to say no when she asked for my help. That is my very bad recap of my story hahaha.

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Niki Elle's avatar

Well, people don't have to understand your reasons. They can just observe the results. :) hoping things get better for you, man, and you're able to find peace with the things you need to figure out.πŸ™

OH yeah that piece! That's actually how I found you, I think. That was a good read! It's the one where your entire days plans got derailed helping a girl who ended up just being distracted by social media... 🀣 but she sounded like a sweet kid, and I remembered admiring your patience as I read it.

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Preston's avatar

Thank you! I am trying my best.

And yup that’s the one. She was definitely misunderstood, and I think at the end of the day she just wanted to get out of her house and I guess I give off friendly protector πŸ˜‚ either way I am glad I had the experience.

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Mark Goode's avatar

Preston, thanks for sharing this piece. I can relate to much of what you write. Blessings.

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Preston's avatar

Thank you for reading it Mark! I am glad you can find connection points with what I write.

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Maggie Jon's avatar

I loved him too. Probably for similar reasons.

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Preston's avatar

It really was a shock when I found out, and then when I found out what happened I was even more shocked. It’s been somewhat comforting learning how much more he and I had in common as I learn more about him.

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Jul 24
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Preston's avatar

Thank you for such a thoughtful and meaningful comment. I am happy you are finding more meaning in life and treatments are working for you. Yes! What you told me does help, and also encourages me to take care of my brain even more. I actually read a book on brain health every morning by Dr. Amen and it really helps with keeping me motivated on that front.

As for religion/spirituality, I tend to agree with you. On the whole organized religion has been a source of anxiety for me, however I do not have an issue with believing in perhaps the story and/or principles of Christianity itself, as I was raised Christian. It makes it all the more difficult when organized religion is organized around hate as well. I’m still on that learning journey, but I do pray, meditate, do yoga, and go out of my way to learn about as many β€œfaiths” as I can. Learning helps for me.

Again, thank you for such lengthy and meaningful thoughts, and thank you for reading! This piece means a lot to me.

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