The Health Chronicles: Honest Weight Talk
I am not happy with the way I look.
This is something I have touched on before with these, but I don’t think I have really gotten into specifics. Or, maybe I have, but didn’t really talk about weight. Well, it’s time to have that conversation today.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been in a bit of a funk, hence I haven’t been writing as much as I usually would. As a result of not mentally feeling well, along with some sleepless nights, my decision making has not been great. I have been making poor (and convenient) food choices but also ones that just feel good at the moment.
And I have to be honest, I have legitimately noticed it with some of the clothes I have been wearing.
As a society, we have become better at talking about the body image problems facing young girls and women. We are not great at it, and in some ways we seem to be going backwards. But, it is at least recognized in some empathetic corners. However, we still lag very far behind when it comes to talking about men with body image issues. And as I said before…
I am not happy with the way I look.
It has not always been this way, but a combination of heightened stress and not making sound food choices has exacerbated the problem, especially over the last few years. When I am disciplined about my eating and exercising, I am VERY disciplined, to the point of almost being obsessive. However when I fall off, I fall off hard. And I know this back and forth has taken its toll on my body.
To put things into perspective about how this is also psychological for me, I don’t like taking my shirt off. Full stop. I don’t even particularly like wearing short sleeves or shorts in general. Would some people call that vain or shallow? Maybe. Aren’t people supposed to love themselves for who they are? Of course. I tell people that all the time. But this is not me. And I want to own that fact and do something about it.
So, yesterday, even though I knew I was going to hate it, I stepped on the scale.
I was 194 pounds.
For someone of my height and age, that means I am 34 pounds overweight. And trust me when I say this, I feel that. I understand that some people are naturally bigger than others, and losing weight can be difficult for anyone. But seeing that number and knowing where I am supposed to be shocked me, even though I wasn’t surprised. I am not happy with that weight and I am not happy with the way I look.
So, what do I do about it?
Well, the way I see it, I just get back to what I was doing, but with more intent. It is one thing to go through the motions of eating healthy things and getting in steps. It’s another to really push yourself so you are making real progress. The past few years I have been doing enough to see small changes here and there. And that’s fine. But I know I can do more to make drastic healthy changes to my body.
So that will start today. Once I am done with this article, I’ll go for a more intense walk outside. Then I’ll prep cook for the week. And the thing is I know these things will make me feel good in general. They always do. It’s just getting that initial ball rolling that can seem daunting at times. What will be more difficult is resisting that urge to buy something that will “feel good” in the moment in terms of taste but I know is not something my body needs. This will be the real test.
Like I said, I wasn’t always afraid to take my shirt off. Hell, in college, especially during band camp, I never had a shirt on. I am not saying that I can get back to where I was then, but I can certainly do better than I am now. But also, what’s stopping me from getting back to when I was in peak physical condition, and even pushing past that? At the end of the day, the only things stopping me is myself and my brain/motivation because I have no physical restrictions. So, time to get up and kick my own butt today haha. I look forward to doing so.
I’ll do check ins next week. Have a wonderful week everyone!
Thank you for reading Preston’s Eclectic Musings. Any support whether that be a like, share, comment, or subscription is always appreciated.
Or, if you’d like to send me some sustenance in the form of a healthy beverage, consider buying me a “coffee” (Tea!) instead!
Love that you’re shedding light on this issue. It’s def something that both men and women go through. Also I know you got this!!
And you know what. Channel your inner Lewis Hamilton!!! You don’t gotta show your arms and stuff. But just dress awesome, like stuff you feel good in or compliments you. If you feel like a million bucks, you’ll be radiating that aura.
You're on your way, P! I know you and I believe in you that you can do this and get to a place where you are more comfortable being in your own skin. I've dealt with weight issues and you know it's hard for me because I'm so small in general. A 5' even, just a few pounds will have an effect on my wardrobe choices and how some clothes fit. To top it off, I have some medical issues that encourage weight gain. Right now I'm at 117 and I really want to drop 10 lbs. (Remember I'm 5 feet tall) But I've not been following a specific diet, just lots of water, green tea, no soft drinks or candy and I eat 5 small balanced meals a day. It's slow going but it's happening. It'll happen for you too!