No, I Don't Play Piano

The Annoying Mindset of a Perfectionist and Musician

If you were to ask me what my musical personality is I would say this. I am a percussionist (drummer) doing a somewhat decent impression as a classically trained opera singer. I love to sing. Singing is something that brings me immense joy. It’s what I studied in college. But I’m a band kid at heart. 

I also taught myself how to play trumpet in high school. I wanted to learn from my high school teacher, an overwhelmingly talented trumpet player, but there was obviously a conflict of interest. After 9 weeks of self-practice, I eventually ended up playing in our top jazz band and for our concert band as well. For our final graduation performance, I actually played trumpet with the wind ensemble instead of percussion like I usually do. 

I am not saying all of this to brag. There’s a method to the build up here I promise. 

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All of that is to say, obviously I love music. It brings me such joy, especially when done at a high level. All of my music playing actually started with piano lessons though. When I started to pluck out church tunes on Sunday or songs on the radio just from listening to them, my mom thought, hm maybe there’s something there. 

But if you asked me what instruments I “play”, I would say two. 

I’m a singer, and I’m a drummer. 

Why? I have performed in adjudicated competitions as a trumpet player. I clearly know the notes. I also know my way around a piano, certainly more than the average person walking the earth. But would I ever say I play these instruments to a level that people expect, or I expect when someone presents themselves as such? 

Absolutely not. 

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I’d love to become a better piano player, but I’m just not in a position to do so at this time. Playing piano, even when my fingers are fumbling all over themselves, is actually the type of music making that is the most therapeutic for me. Singing Disney songs and musicals is fun to do while I clean or cook, but there’s something about playing piano that legitimately puts my mind at ease. If my fingers don’t get sore, I can lose 2 hours doing piano drills or practicing a piece. 

But I don’t play piano. 

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This is the curse of a perfectionist and a musician. I would say that I can make noise on piano or the trumpet. Sometimes it sounds good. But when you tell someone that you play piano, they expect you to be able to bust out a catalog of songs like it’s nothing. That’s simply not the case for me. 

Furthermore, while it is not necessary for this to happen if you want to claim to be proficient at an instrument, people will pay me, quite well in fact, to play percussion or to sing. I would never charge someone for my services as a piano player, let alone a trumpet player. It’s a high bar. Not all musicians even have it, and I don’t think they should. I could charge people for beginning piano lessons, but after a while it would be negligent on my part not to usher them off to someone more proficient. 

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But I am ok with presenting myself like this. Is there a bit of self-deprecation at play here? Perhaps. Am I being coy? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I would simply never present myself as a piano player to anyone because I don’t see myself at the level to claim something like that. It would take quite a lot more practice and proficiency to get there. 

However, it is still the instrument that soothes my soul the most when I am practicing. So, I’ll continue to “not” play piano and hope to do so a lot more frequently in the near future. 

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to say, “yes I do play the piano, want to hear something”? But I am also an objectively talented singer who shies away from singing for people most of the time. That’s another story for another day.

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