I Met a Troll in the Wild on Saturday

How I Responded Left Him Speechless.

On Saturday, I took an Uber from work rather than taking the Metro like I usually do. I had two good reasons, I think.

The Metro was doing maintenance that was going to make my commute home incredibly cumbersome at best.

I also had two bags full of food because I stayed at my mom’s the night before and she loaded me up with goodies. Love you mom.

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So, I waited and got picked up for my Uber ride that would be a little over a half hour. Usually, depending on how I feel, I’ll either talk to my Uber driver, or sometimes I just want to be left alone. I am an introvert after all.

We exchanged pleasantries in the beginning, and then we were mostly quiet for the ride. No Radio. No nothing. The sweet sound of silence. I didn't even have my own headphones in.

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Then, when we were closer to the destination, he sent a text exchange via voice memo. He proceeded to say to me “Sorry for cursing, don’t want you to cancel me over that”. It was an odd thing to say, but I really didn’t think much of it. Generally I don’t look for reasons to be confrontational with other people and while his language was certainly a choice, I was going to just let it go and hopefully get dropped off in peace.

He then began to explain the contents of the text messages. Apparently, Elon Musk’s DOGE (Department Of Government Efficiency) was having some sort of celebratory party? I don’t know. Either way, this guy had a ticket and was planning on going. Elon was supposed to be there as well, and as a result people were being unceremoniously removed from the invite list.

As many of you know who read my writings. I am no fan of Mr. Musk, or the way he enables the worst kind of people to do damage to the world.

Given where I live, the suburbs of Washington DC, and the fact that many people around here are either federal government workers or government contractors, him saying he was going to a DOGE celebration party was tone deaf at best. At worst, it was an attempt to get a rise out of me, perhaps trying to see how I would react to someone who has had such a negative impact on the overall mental health of the career people especially in this area.

But, I didn’t take the bait. I engaged in light banter. Said yeah that makes sense that they are being more security conscious if Elon Musk is planning on coming. I really was not looking to have THAT conversation. I don’t like talking politics at the best of times or even with people I agree with. And I just did not like the vibe I was getting from this guy after the first couple of things he had said.

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Then, he proceeded to be a bit more blunt by asking, “Well, what do you think of DOGE? Elon Musk and cutting government contracts and federal workers is a great thing, right?”

And there it was. He finally got to what I am sure he thought would be his crowning achievement of the ride. Given my hesitancy to engage in the topic prior to, he probably guessed I was not a fan of the man, but I wasn’t giving him the visceral reaction he needed to feed whatever trolls feed on. They feed on the rage and depleting mental health of others if I am not mistaken.

Anyway, at this point I was kind of done being “polite” so I proceeded to tell him more or less that I do not agree with people who celebrate cruelty and champion the suffering of others. I then mentioned how many of the scientists the administration has fired (among them nuclear physicists and people who fight diseases like bird flu) are being sought out to be “rehired” because their unceremonious dismissals were short sighted.

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I tried to be cordial by saying that with all of these cuts happening the work of nonprofit organizations is now more important than it has ever been. He then of course brought up USAID. At this point, I clearly knew what was going on and decided to just go on the path of talking about humanity.

Honestly for the last 7 or so minutes of the ride (when he decided to bring this up) he couldn’t really say much that was reasonable. I got a lot of one word replies from him. And at the end of the ride, I basically reiterated my larger point. When cruelty and championing the suffering of others are your platforms and what drives you, then I do not agree with that. I talked about how government programs that are on the chopping block are going to harm the most vulnerable people by far. And I simply could not agree with anyone who thinks this is a good thing.

At the end of the day, I think he thought he was going to trap me in the car with him and make me uncomfortable. Perhaps he thought I would be a great story to tell his DOGE bros at the party later that night about how he “triggered me” during the Uber experience. Hell, maybe he’d get a big rise out of me and that would have made for a hell of a story. For all I know he had a camera in that car and all of that crap was being recorded to be cut up and used as footage on the worst kinds of YouTube channels later.

But, he was trapped in the car with me. I killed him with level headed responses. I appealed to the humanity of what was going on. And unless you’re a completely heartless person, you don’t cheer seeing anyone, whether you agree with their politics or not, losing their well earned and deserved jobs. It takes a special kind of hatred and cruelty to champion the suffering of others. Once I made clear that this is what I could not agree with on any level, as previously mentioned, his responses got a lot shorter and his tone became a lot less excited.

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Then, he dropped me off and we went our separate ways. I didn’t tip him, but I also did not give him a bad review. If that’s his tactic, especially in this area, someone else will be a lot less cordial than me. Because real people are affected when workers are unceremoniously fired. No one likes to go into work feeling like they could be let go at any moment. Hostile work environments are not how businesses run efficiently. And the people this guy chooses to drive around in this area are on edge.

So, maybe next time he’ll read the room a little better. But my guess is, he’ll continue to drive around and continue to try and troll people into triggering conversations while they’re kind of “trapped” in the car with him. But, I did not allow him to get my tears or any of my feelings. I just appealed to the humanity of what was happening around him.

I don’t think it got through to him, but he certainly did not get the interaction from me that he was expecting. I will not allow people who actively seek out harming the mental well being of others to have my tears or my depression. And the fact that these are the things fueling so many people in the world nowadays is a sad state of affairs for humanity.

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