Can Performers be Introverts?

The Long and Winding Road of Getting to Know Oneself

It is incredibly rare when you can fit someone completely into one box or another when it comes to things that seem polar opposite. If for no other reason, there are plenty of subjects in our world that are not “black and white” issues. There’s a lot more gray areas than some of us are perhaps comfortable enough to admit. 

---

I feel very strongly about this when it comes to being introverted vs. being extroverted. While I was on Substack on Monday,

Marie Vandoorne

posted a quote and then accompanied it with her own thoughts on what people think it means to be an introvert vs. what it actually means. You can find her thoughts below.

What people think about introverts:

• Always quiet.

• Shy and awkward.

• Prefers to be alone.

What being an introvert actually means:

• Meaningful conversations.

• Talkative once comfortable.

• Highly observant and introspective. 

First of all, let’s look at the difference in the narratives here. While perhaps not necessarily overtly or on purpose, the way people perceive introversion is often negative. Just look at the way folks describe introverted people. Hell, take a look at any movie from the 80s/90s and they just call that person weird or a freak. This may be one of the (many) reasons it has taken me such a long time to get more comfortable getting to know myself. 

Now, let’s see how introverts would describe themselves, or what it actually means to be introverted. These are all qualities that are a net positive and I think things most people would want in a friend or significant other. When I was reading them, I felt as though someone was tapping into the core of who I am as a person. 

I can give a very real example of perception vs. reality here. When I told someone I am close to that I am an empath, their response was, no you’re just sensitive. Being sensitive isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the way in which it was presented was to throw away the actual conclusion and how I felt in order to present a narrative that fit their personality profile of who this person thinks I am. Being sensitive generally is perceived as being weak, whereas defining oneself as an empath shows a sense of awareness and power of knowing. 

---

“But wait Preston, you’re a performer. Can you be an introvert when you’re someone who enjoys being on stage?”

I think the short answer to this question is, yes. Full stop. People will often assume that just because someone enjoys being in the spotlight, they must want it on them all the time. This is the case for some, and many would argue that depending on your voice part or instrument you play, there’s even a correlation there as well.

Perhaps we can dive into those, admittedly sometimes completely accurate, tropes in another piece. 

But the bigger question still remains. How can you be someone who loves to perform and interact with an audience, and still be at your core an introverted person? 

---

I am not sure I have the perfect answer here, but I do know that had I thought about this dichotomy when I was younger, I may be in a completely different place mentally today. Better late than never, I suppose. 

I believe that introverts generally recharge when they are by themselves or with a person or small group they are completely comfortable with. That can be reading a book, drinking tea in one’s backyard alone…writing. It doesn’t mean slouched over in a corner awkwardly. They get their most productive and efficient energy when doing things that have minimal social interaction and tend to spark more introspection. Basically, this is when they feel the most like their “self”. 

For example, me writing this before sunrise, tea by my side with the windows open on a brisk fall morning? I am in my element. 

---

So, how does performing effect an introvert then? Well, for me, I also get energy from performing too, but it’s an energy that is more fleeting than the energy I get from more introverted activities. If I perform a classical aria at a church or morning performance, that may give me energy for a short time afterwards, but generally something like writing an article in the morning or having a deep conversation with someone can fuel me for days. 

Putting the negative health connotations aside, extroverted energy for me is like having an energy drink and introverted energy is having some strong black tea. To be fair, the one can be quite addictive, causing someone to chase that “high” constantly. But the burnout and crash are also real too, especially if your default state is introversion. 

Well, what happens to introverts when they are in more social gathering situations then? Like Marie said, we observe. When at a party or any other social gathering, it is not very likely for me to go out of my way to go up to someone to spark conversation, especially if it is a new setting. If I am there with someone, I like to listen, as I like to do so in general. Listening and gathering information is my default. However, once I am comfortable, I am more than happy to add to the conversation and even open up a little more of my personality. People who may seem extroverted are sometimes introverts that finally got comfortable. 

That would be me. 

---

So, this is something I may end up starting a series on, because I feel like it’s a topic that has many different sidebars one can explore. How many popular professional athletes would consider themselves introverts? How many popular musicians feel this way? Are there social media influencers that are seemingly always “on screen” but their reality is that of someone who actually recharges with tea and a good book in the morning? As we become more interconnected and we have the ability to see into the lives of celebrities and friends alike, it can be harder to tell the difference between an introvert and extrovert. Sounds like something worth exploring and understanding moving forward.

Thank you again Marie for the thought-provoking note, and plainly stating the difference between the perception of what it means to be an introvert, and what the reality is for most of us.

---

Thank you for reading Preston’s Eclectic Musings. If you enjoy the thoughts that fly through my mind on a wide range of subjects, consider becoming a free subscriber or support my work for 5$ a month. 

If a subscription is not in the cards at the moment, consider clicking the link below for a one time donation with “Buy Me A Coffee”. Anything is always appreciated, and you can click the button below as well:

More than anything if this piece moved you, share it far and wide with friends! I love reaching new people and learning new perspectives:

If you believe the writing I do here would be a beneficial read for the people in your life, please consider sharing my publication: